War & Global Warming

Conservative Contradictions, Volume 4: War & Global Warming

If you say to a compassionate conservative that you may have noticed some shocking setbacks in the Iraq war, or that new levels of violence have been reached—perhaps a single violent day that was bloodier than any previous day—the person could justifiably point out that no matter the details of current events, the TREND might still be positive. Your conversational partner suddenly becomes an expert in statistical study, and an outspoken zealot of long-term line graphs and careful cautious research, and they might even hand you a pamphlet advertising a helpful community course in mathematics.

However, the same logic would never be applied to the matter of global warming. Nor would the logic even be comprehended if it were applied by somebody else.

A very violent day will never be viewed as evidence about the trend of a war. But, a record-setting cold day will be taken as definitive proof that global warming doesn't exist.

Next edition: Criticism of domestic authority is a naive invitation to turn our country into a dark jungle ravaged by anarchy, but in the global arena Might Makes Right as long as America is the champ.